I had a meltdown yesterday evening. In a moment of desperation, I walked the 5km to the ring road, hoping to find some new information. I got to the road a few hours before sunset. Usually there are buses carrying tourists around the island, but all I heard was silence. The wind blew in cold from the coast. Dark clouds loomed on the horizon. I walked to the other side of a large basalt boulder that faced the road and sat down.
It’s a strange feeling to be alone with only your thoughts. It’s like entering a cave with no flashlight. You walk deeper and deeper and the light fades until you find yourself alone. You reach out in front of you for any sort of surface to grab onto. After a while, you forget the reason you entered the cave to begin with. It can be dangerous to explore the darkness.
A raven flew in from the east and perched on a rock close by. Its guttural croak woke me from my day dream. I watched it for a while as it scavenged for food. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. Finnr and Halla had cut back on the meal portions a few days earlier. I’m grateful they’re still giving me food, but how long will it last? Am I going to starve? I hadn’t considered that a possibility, but. . .
I must have drifted off because I woke up shivering in the dark with rain on my face. Finnr was nice enough to let me borrow one of his jackets, but it couldn’t keep out the cold that had seeped in. Unsure of the time, I walked back toward town. The moon was out, illuminating the road in front of me. I stopped, listening for the raven, but it had moved on. I should move on. I bet if I started walking, I’d run into someone that knew what the hell was going on.
I arrived sometime in the middle of the night and crept into my room where I drifted off to sleep. When I went downstairs this morning, Finnr and Halla greeted me, but something was different. There was something about the way they greeted me that made me anxious. They weren’t hostile, but there was definitely something off. Do they hope I disappear? If they do, they’ll have to get in line behind me.