The smoke has yet to clear. It’s not as bad as the other day, but it’s left everyone feeling a bit wary of the current situation. Like a poignant reminder of the shitstorm we’re all in. A few of the older couples in town have family in Reykjavik that they haven’t heard from since this all started. Walking back from the ocean last night, I passed a house where an older gentleman lived by himself. He was out on the front porch, his head buried in his hands. His body convulsed. Even from a distance away I could hear his quiet sobs. I was unsure what to do, so I kept walking. He never looked up.
It made me sad.
This whole time I’ve been so focused on myself and my problems. I haven’t given much thought to what other people must be going through. Everyone here has lost someone. I walk around acting like there is only space for my heart to break. It’s selfish of me and something I definitely need to consider.
We moved the boat down earlier today. I didn’t know what the process would entail, but it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Everyone showed up after breakfast and assembled a large cart used to push the boat down to the marina. At one point, there was a lot of shouting and everyone gathered to one side, but I couldn’t see what was happening. It seemed like it resolved itself. By noon the boat was floating in the water. Finnr looked especially pleased, even relaxed. It was a side of him I’d never seen before.
Aldan set to work prepping the boat to leave tomorrow morning. Loading it with barrels and nets of all different sizes. I asked if he needed help, but he declined, so I wandered back over to the garden and finished my day there.
It feels good to get into a groove. I’ve been mired in chaos the last few weeks, so it’s a nice change of pace to have a schedule of sorts. My work in the garden motivates me to get up and move around, instead of wasting my time feeling sorry for myself. I’m still an emotional wreck. I’m a productive emotional wreck, instead of a useless one. It feels. . . closer to normal.